Friday 31 July 2009

GR8 Expectations?

Just over a week ago I received a text message:
You ok

I didn't know who it was from, so I replied:

Fine, thanks. Who is asking?

I soon got a reply:

Its lee have i got the right number who are you?

Now, the only Lee I know is someone who I met at university a few years ago. It was unlikely to be him, but I replied, letting Lee know where I live:

Phil, N Wales. If you're that Lee, then hello, long time on see!

Note the how predictive text predicted I wanted "on" instead of "no". It wasn't the Lee I knew:

Im lee from northampton sorry mate must have got the wrong number, how is wales anyway.

Now, ordinarily if folk get through to a wrong number, they usually apologise and then that is that; I know I do. Not in this case, however. I reply:

No worries. Wales is somewhat wet, but otherwise nice. Hope it is nice where you are.

A swift reply:

Yea its been nice here 2day,had a few beers in town,my auntie lives in carmathen,you know it?

To which I replied:

No, but I know someone who lives there.

Then a reply to which I didn't respond back to:

Its a small world enit lol,you wouldnt like it here its turned into poland,nothing against them tho,the girls are nice,plus ive been her all my life had enough.

I didn't really like the route that this odd conversation was going, so I declined to reply.

Weirdly enough, the Lee I thought it might have been posted a message to me on Facebook at the time that the text messaging was taking place. How very odd.


I thought that that was it, until I received the following text later on the following Saturday (technically Sunday morning):

You ok son

To which I replied:

Yes, thanks Lee. Hope you're okay too.

Indeed he was:

Yeah im fine just been down the local 4 a beer its been really hot 2day,were off 2 menorca on friday a family one,can't wait lol.

My reply:

It'll be even hotter on holiday! Sure you'll have fun.

Which prompted the reply that encompassed what I had been thinking:

Yea hope so,you must think im weird texting you at random,i dont even know your ages or what you look like,we could be long lost friends lol.

As I went on to say, it is quite odd:

I'm 38. Not weird, just unusual. Would be odd if we were long lost friends!

Note the ambigious middle sentence following the "I'm" bit. After my reply I heard nothing. I concluded that perhaps Lee was 18, 19 and he decided that he didn't really want to text someone old enough to be his father.

However, on Monday I received a text:

So what do you do 4 a living? i fell asleep was a bit drunk,went 2 a neighbours 50th.

As an aside, I find that when I type these texts for the blog, I automatically write "to" and "for" and then have to edit them to what some folk know as Princebonics, some as text speak.

I reply:

Usually office work, bit of writing. How old are you and what do you do?

Lee replied:

Im 33,i work in a warehouse fork lift and the warehouse crap,my names lee buy the way,you got kids or married?

I removed Lee's birthdate from the above text, to help protect his identity. I don't usually tell strangers more personal details, but I did this time:

No children, not married. I'm Phil, in case you'd forgotten.

Another reply:

My middle name is philip lol,do you have picture phone i could send you a pic,have you got any female friends?

Now, why would I want to see a photograph of someone I barely know? Also, who hasn't got any female friends? I replied:

My phone is pretty old and doesn't really do photos. I have female friends, but most have moved away since uni.

Another swift reply:

Ohh well i should come down where you live and have a few beers with ya,there must be women round your town,who you live with?

Now, I have met folk that I've met over the 'net, but never my random text messages, and I doubt I ever shall. I reply:

Live on my own, which makes a nice change from sharing a house.

Lee replied with more personal details which I won't publish here. I've not heard from him for a few days. Will I hear from him again? Will he text me when on holiday? Who knows.

Monday 27 July 2009

The Prodigal Returneth (and Other Lies)

Well, it has been some time since my last post! Time for a quick update: still eating meat and recently made the decision to try and lose weight by eating healthily. Counting the calories and not eating as much as I used to has meant that I've lost a few pounds over the last two weeks.

I've quite a few things to blog about that I'm working on, so expect an update soon (honest!)